Northern India, often celebrated as a crucible of economic growth, hides beneath its prosperity a disturbing social reality. Haryana, Rajasthan, Punjab, Western Uttar Pradesh, and even the fringes of Delhi boast highways, malls, and industrial corridors—but their social landscape remains mired in feudal values, contradictions,
and decay. Here, wealth has not translated into enlightenment. Instead, opportunism, patriarchal rigidity, and a deeply skewed sex ratio have created a paradoxical society: outwardly modern, inwardly medieval.
As the old saying goes, “You can change the walls of the house, but not the mindset of the dweller.”
The Unwelcome Guest: Why Daughters Remain “Liabilities”
At the heart of this malaise lies the treatment of the girl child. Despite education and urban migration, the mindset has changed little. In rural homes and middle-class city flats alike, the arrival of a daughter is still whispered as misfortune.
Why?
Dowry and Gifts: The crushing weight of dowry and the lifelong expectation of gifts to the in-laws make daughters a financial sinkhole. As the rural proverb goes, “Betī kī shaadi apnī kabar khodnā hai” (A daughter’s marriage is digging your own grave).
Safety and Security: Parents view daughters as perpetual risks—requiring protection, surveillance, and control to safeguard the elusive notion of “honor.”
The “Other’s” Income: Even when daughters are educated and employed, the perception persists that her earnings benefit another household. This utilitarian calculation makes investment in her future seem “wasteful.”
This collective mindset has birthed one of India’s darkest social practices—female foeticide. Despite being criminalized, it remains an open secret in both villages and cities. The result is stark: a sex ratio so skewed that in some districts, there are fewer than 850 girls for every 1000 boys.
Marriage, Market, and the Hypocrisy of “Honor”
The skewed sex ratio has warped the institution of marriage. Eligible young men struggle to find brides, and desperation has turned women into commodities.
The Bride Market: Men with resources procure brides from faraway, poorer states—Jharkhand, Assam, Odisha—often from marginalized castes. These women are accepted without question, despite cultural, linguistic, or caste differences.
The Hypocrisy of Honor: The same society that embraces brides bought from other regions violently opposes local inter-caste or inter-gotra marriages. Love marriages face relentless opposition. Families are ostracized; couples are forced to separate; and too often, “honor killings” are carried out. The contradiction is glaring: money can erase caste boundaries, but love cannot.
As one villager cynically remarked, “Apnī jaat kī chhori na chale, par dūsrī jaat kī kharīd lo—yeh hai samāj kī maryādā” (Our own caste girl must not marry freely, but we may buy a girl from another caste—that is society’s code).
The Façade of Brotherhood
Northern Indian villages pride themselves on the idea that boys and girls of the same village are “brothers and sisters.” But this brotherhood is a fragile fiction. Beneath the veneer lies widespread sexual exploitation.
Numerous cases exist where so-called “brothers” exploit village girls, leading to hidden pregnancies.
Premarital and extra-marital encounters are an open secret—spoken of in whispers but denied in public.
Yet when love dares to show its face openly, the same society explodes in self-righteous fury, demanding blood in the name of “honor.”
As the proverb goes, “Kuan jaane, balti jaane, par gaon anjaan bane” (The well knows, the bucket knows, but the village pretends ignorance).
The Historical Burden of Feudalism
This is not a new sickness but a continuation of historical feudal norms. For centuries, communities in the Hindi heartland placed “izzat” (honor) above individual freedom. Land, cattle, and women became symbols of family prestige, to be controlled and guarded. Even as tractors replaced bullocks and malls replaced mandis, the feudal psyche survived intact.
Economic liberalization has filled pockets but not minds. The paradox persists: men earning salaries in Gurgaon’s glass towers return to villages that still dictate whom one can or cannot love.
Crumbling Walls, Future Reckonings
The contradictions are catching up with society. The shortage of brides is tearing through the illusion of self-sufficiency. Imported brides, broken families, honor killings, and frustrated youth are symptoms of a crumbling social order.
The tragedy is not just of individuals but of an entire civilization that shackles its young. In denying them the right to choose, society is sowing seeds of rebellion and despair. As one old saying warns, “Diwār girti hai, par deewar girne se pehle ghar hil jātā hai” (The wall falls, but before it falls, the house already shakes).
Conclusion: Progress Beyond Highways
True progress is not measured in highways, malls, or industrial output. It is measured in dignity, freedom, and equality. A society that treats daughters as burdens, controls love, and cloaks hypocrisy in the garb of honor cannot call itself progressive.
The youth of Northern India deserve better. The coming generations will not forgive this betrayal. If we fail to break these feudal chains, the economic towers we build will rest on foundations of sand.
It is time to ask: Will we allow false honor to devour our humanity? Or will we choose love, equality, and justice as the real markers of development?
No comments:
Post a Comment