From One Breath to Two Lives

The Transforming Bond Between Mother and Child

-Ramphal Kataria

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.”
— Khalil Gibran

Before a child learns to breathe, cry, or open its eyes to the world, it has already lived an entire chapter of existence—hidden and inseparable from another life. In the silent universe of the womb, the boundaries between mother and child dissolve into a remarkable biological unity. Two hearts beat within one body, sustained by a single stream of breath and nourishment.

For months, the unborn child does not breathe its own air or feed itself. Every breath the mother takes becomes a breath shared. Every drop of nourishment entering her bloodstream quietly travels across the placenta to sustain the life forming within her. In this mysterious partnership, individuality has not yet begun; existence itself is shared.

“Every human life begins not in independence, but in shared existence.”

The Biology of Unity

Human life begins not as separation but as integration. During pregnancy, the fetus and the mother function as an interconnected physiological system. Through the placenta, oxygen, nutrients, hormones, and immune protection pass from the mother’s bloodstream into the developing child.

Each heartbeat of the mother indirectly sustains two lives. Her lungs inhale oxygen that eventually nourishes the fetus. Her body constantly adapts its metabolism and circulation to sustain the growing life inside her.

Modern science has revealed an astonishing detail about this relationship. During pregnancy, cells from the fetus often migrate into the mother’s bloodstream. Some remain in her body for decades—a phenomenon known as fetal microchimerism.

“Even decades after birth, a mother may still carry living traces of her child within her body.”

The First World of the Unborn

The womb is not merely a biological chamber; it is the first sensory world of human life.

By the third trimester, a fetus can hear muffled sounds from outside the womb. The rhythmic beating of the mother’s heart, the cadence of her speech, and even emotional changes in her body become part of the unborn child’s earliest experiences.

Studies show that newborn infants often recognize their mother’s voice immediately after birth. The sounds they heard in the womb form the earliest memories of human consciousness.

“The first sound most humans ever know is the rhythm of their mother’s heartbeat.”

The Moment of Separation

Nature designs the unity of pregnancy only as a beginning. Birth marks the first profound separation between two lives that once functioned as one.

When the umbilical cord is cut, the newborn must perform its first independent act: breathing. The lungs expand for the first time, blood circulation reorganizes itself, and the infant begins sustaining life through its own body.

“The first cry of a newborn is the sound of independence.”

What was once a single biological system becomes two distinct individuals.

The Emotional Bond After Birth

Although biological unity ends at birth, the emotional bond between mother and child often deepens in the months that follow.

Human infants are among the most dependent newborns in the animal kingdom. They rely entirely on caregivers for nourishment, protection, and emotional security.

Breastfeeding, touch, and eye contact gradually create an intimate emotional attachment. The child learns trust through repeated experiences of comfort and care.

Psychologists such as John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth demonstrated that early attachment plays a crucial role in shaping emotional development.

“The cord may be cut at birth, but the bond simply changes its form.”

The Long Journey Toward Independence

As childhood unfolds, the relationship between mother and child continues to evolve. The mother becomes the child’s first teacher, guiding early language, behavior, and understanding of the world.

Yet growth inevitably introduces distance.

The toddler begins to explore independently. School introduces new relationships and identities. Adolescence brings the powerful desire for individuality.

“The purpose of motherhood is not to hold life forever, but to prepare it for freedom.”

What once appeared inseparable gradually transforms into a relationship between two independent lives.

The Evolutionary Story Behind Motherhood

Anthropologists note that human infants are unusually dependent compared to other mammals. This vulnerability arises partly because human brains are large and continue developing after birth.

The long period of childhood allows the human brain to grow and learn, but it also requires prolonged care.

Anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy describes humans as “cooperative breeders,” meaning that raising children historically involved extended family and community support.

Yet even within such social structures, the mother often remains the central figure in the earliest experiences of life.

“Civilisations may be built by societies, but every life begins with a mother.”

The Quiet Paradox of Love

For the mother, the journey of raising a child carries a quiet paradox. The same love that once protected the child through closeness must eventually allow distance.

Care gradually becomes guidance. Authority softens into companionship. Dependence transforms into mutual respect.

“The deepest bond in human life begins in unity but finds its meaning in letting go.”

Closing Reflection

Human life begins in perfect dependence and slowly moves toward independence. The journey from womb to world is not merely biological but profoundly emotional and philosophical.

Yet the memory of that first unity never disappears completely.

Somewhere in the quiet chambers of human consciousness remains the echo of a time when breath, nourishment, and survival were shared with another.

“Before we belonged to the world, we belonged to our mother.”

Footnotes

1. Fetal cells remaining in a mother’s body are known as fetal microchimerism, a phenomenon widely studied in immunology and developmental biology.

2. Attachment theory explaining early emotional bonding was developed by John Bowlby and later empirically expanded by Mary Ainsworth.

3. Anthropological research on cooperative parenting in humans is discussed extensively by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy.

 

Saving Mothers, Failing Women

Prosperity Without Protection: The Unfinished Battle Against Maternal Mortality in Punjab and Haryana

-Ramphal Kataria

India has made measurable progress in reducing maternal mortality over the past two decades. Yet in economically prosperous states like Punjab and Haryana, mothers continue to die during pregnancy and childbirth despite extensive pregnancy tracking systems and multiple welfare schemes. The persistence of these preventable deaths exposes the gap between policy ambition and the lived realities of India’s public health system.

“Maternal mortality is widely recognised as one of the most sensitive indicators of the strength of a health system and the status of women in society.”
— World Health Organization

A Death That Should Not Happen

Late one evening in a village in Haryana, a young woman went into labour. Her pregnancy had been registered months earlier by frontline health workers. Her name appeared on official registers under maternal health programmes. The system knew she was pregnant.

But when complications began, the system seemed to disappear.

The nearest primary health centre referred her to a community health centre several kilometres away. From there she was referred again to a district hospital after doctors suspected severe bleeding. Hours slipped away between referrals, ambulance delays and the search for available specialists.

By the time she reached a facility capable of treating her, the damage had already been done.

She died before sunrise.

Her newborn survived.

Her story, like many others, appears in official records only as a statistic.

“Every maternal death today is rarely a failure of medicine—it is almost always a failure of systems.”

Childbirth Without Fear: The Global Context

Across much of the developed world, maternal deaths are extremely rare.

Country	Maternal Mortality Ratio (per 1 lakh births)
Norway	2–3
Japan	3–5
United Kingdom	~8
United States	~23
Sri Lanka	~30

These countries have achieved such outcomes through strong primary healthcare systems, skilled midwives and efficient emergency obstetric care.

India’s Progress—And Its Limits

India has made significant progress in reducing maternal mortality.

Year	Maternal Mortality Ratio
2004–06	~254
2014–16	130
2020–22	~88

This progress reflects expanded institutional deliveries and maternal welfare programmes implemented through the National Health Mission.

Yet the national average hides large regional differences.

Two Indias in Maternal Health

Southern states such as Kerala and Tamil Nadu have maternal mortality levels comparable to developed countries.

State	Maternal Mortality Ratio
Kerala	~19–30
Tamil Nadu	~30–40

By contrast, several northern states continue to struggle.

State	Maternal Mortality Ratio
Punjab	~90
Haryana	~89
Assam	~195

 

“Economic prosperity alone does not guarantee maternal safety.”

The Paradox of Prosperity

Punjab and Haryana are among India’s richest states. Their governments regularly highlight achievements in agriculture, industrial growth and infrastructure development.

Yet maternal mortality in these states remains stubbornly close to the national average.

The paradox is striking: states that symbolise economic progress still struggle to protect mothers during childbirth.

“Maternal mortality is the clearest mirror of a health system’s strengths—and its failures.”

Counting Pregnancies, Missing Mothers

India’s maternal healthcare system increasingly relies on digital pregnancy tracking.

Frontline workers register pregnant women through platforms under the National Health Mission.

In states with historically skewed sex ratios, pregnancy monitoring is also linked to campaigns such as Beti Bachao Beti Padhao.

The campaign has played an important role in highlighting the problem of female foeticide.

Yet some public health experts argue that the emphasis on monitoring pregnancies sometimes overshadows the equally urgent need for comprehensive maternal healthcare.

Pregnancies may be tracked meticulously, but high-risk mothers can still slip through the cracks.

“Pregnancies are counted carefully. Mothers are not always saved.”

The Silent Burden of Anaemia

One of the most significant contributors to maternal mortality in India is severe anaemia.

According to the National Family Health Survey conducted by the International Institute for Population Sciences, a large proportion of pregnant women in northern India suffer from anaemia.

Severe anaemia greatly increases the risk of death during childbirth, particularly when complications such as postpartum haemorrhage occur.

Yet anaemia is one of the most preventable medical conditions through nutritional care and regular antenatal monitoring.

Schemes Without Systems

India has introduced numerous maternal health programmes, including:

• Janani Suraksha Yojana
• Janani Shishu Suraksha Karyakaram
• Pradhan Mantri Surakshit Matritva Abhiyan

These initiatives have dramatically increased institutional deliveries.

However, institutional delivery alone does not ensure safe childbirth. Many hospitals continue to struggle with shortages of obstetricians, anaesthetists and blood banks.

Women reach hospitals, yet life-saving treatment may still be delayed.

Lessons from Successful Countries

Countries such as Sri Lanka and Thailand dramatically reduced maternal mortality by building strong primary healthcare networks and efficient referral systems.

Their success demonstrates that maternal healthcare must function as a coordinated system rather than a collection of disconnected schemes.

The Ethical Question

Maternal mortality is not merely a statistic.

Each death leaves behind grieving families and children who must grow up without their mothers.

For states like Punjab and Haryana, maternal mortality represents a deeper moral challenge.

“A nation that celebrates its daughters must first ensure that its mothers survive childbirth.”

Conclusion: The Real Measure of Development

Maternal mortality remains one of the most preventable forms of death in modern medicine.

When women die during childbirth today, the cause is rarely a lack of medical knowledge. More often it is the failure of systems meant to protect them.

For states like Punjab and Haryana, reducing maternal mortality is not merely a public health objective. It is a test of governance, priorities and social responsibility.

Until childbirth becomes safe for every woman, development will remain incomplete.

“When women die during childbirth today, the cause is rarely a lack of medical knowledge—it is the failure of systems meant to protect them.”

Footnotes

1. World Health Organization, Trends in Maternal Mortality, Global Health Observatory.

2. Sample Registration System estimates under the National Health Mission.

3. International Institute for Population Sciences, National Family Health Survey.

4. Ministry of Health and Family Welfare guidelines for Janani Suraksha Yojana and Janani Shishu Suraksha Karyakaram.

5. Government of India framework for Pradhan Mantri Surakshit Matritva Abhiyan.

6. WHO research on the “Three Delays Model” in maternal mortality analysis.

 

Moral Policing or Women’s Rights? A Hard Look at the Haryana Women Commission

 -Ramphal Kataria

“When institutions chase songs instead of confronting violence, outrage becomes performance and justice becomes a spectator.”

Policing Songs While Women Suffer: The Selective Outrage of Haryana’s Women Commission

The Spectacle of Outrage

In contemporary politics, outrage travels faster than justice. A controversial lyric, a viral video, or a political remark can ignite instant institutional responses. Yet the deeper crises that shape women’s everyday lives—violence, discrimination, and systemic inequality—often struggle to receive the same urgency.

The recent controversy surrounding rapper Badshah’s withdrawn Haryanvi song “Tateeree” illustrates this paradox vividly. Within days of its release, the Haryana State Commission for Women (HSCW) stepped in forcefully. Its chairperson, Renu Bhatia, called for strict action, multiple FIRs were registered, and the episode quickly transformed into a high-profile moral debate.

Yet the intensity of the response has left many observers asking a larger question: Is the commission confronting the real problems facing women in Haryana, or merely policing symbolic controversies?

This question becomes even sharper when viewed against the backdrop of Haryana’s troubling record of gender violence.

The Reality: Crimes Against Women in Haryana

Haryana has long struggled with high rates of crimes against women. According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), the state consistently records one of the highest crime rates per lakh women in India.

Recent Data

Year	Total Cases	Rape Cases	Dowry Deaths
2023	~15,758	1,772	207
2024	9,488	~1,431	Decline reported
2025	Further ~16% decline	~1,025	Continuing decline

The Haryana Police attributes the decline partly to improved policing, faster response through the 112 emergency system, and special monitoring initiatives.

However, statistics alone do not capture the entire picture.

Several structural realities persist:

domestic violence remains the most common crime

cruelty by husbands and relatives accounts for a major share of cases

honour killings continue to surface periodically

dowry harassment remains entrenched

Thus, the real challenge is not simply crime numbers but the deeper structures of patriarchy embedded within society.

The Mandate of the Women Commission

The Haryana State Commission for Women was established to perform crucial functions:

investigate violations of women’s rights

recommend policy reforms

monitor implementation of protective laws

assist victims of violence

inspect custodial institutions housing women

In theory, the commission functions as a quasi-judicial watchdog over the state’s gender justice framework.

Its credibility therefore depends on sustained engagement with systemic issues rather than episodic interventions.

Culture, Ragni and the Language of Suggestion

The debate around “Tateeree” cannot be separated from the cultural landscape of Haryana.

For centuries, folk traditions like ragni and saang have been central to the region’s cultural life. Performances often include humour laced with double meanings, flirtatious metaphors, and playful banter between characters.

Legendary ragni poet Pandit Lakhmi Chand frequently used rustic imagery drawn from agrarian life. His performances reflected the earthy idiom of rural Haryana, where humour, satire, and social commentary blended freely.

Over time, these traditions evolved into modern Haryanvi pop music and stage shows that continue to attract massive audiences.

Suggestive metaphors and double-meaning lyrics have therefore long existed within the cultural fabric of the region.

As feminist philosopher Simone de Beauvoir observed:

“Representation of women in culture often reveals more about the anxieties of society than about women themselves.”

This insight reminds us that cultural debates about morality frequently reflect deeper struggles over power and control rather than genuine concern for women’s dignity.

The Hall of Hypocrisy: Songs That Shaped the Debate

The controversy around “Tateeree” becomes difficult to understand without acknowledging the wider ecosystem of Haryanvi entertainment.

Numerous songs with suggestive lyrics circulate widely across social media, weddings, and stage performances.

Yet few have faced the kind of institutional backlash directed at rapper Badshah.

Comparative Snapshot

Song Title	Artist	Lyricist	Nature of Content
Solid Body	Raju Punjabi	Ajay Hooda	Flirtatious metaphors focused on female physical beauty
Kharbuje Si Teri Jawani	Raju Punjabi	Ajay Hooda	Suggestive comparison of youth and body
Jalebi	Sapna Choudhary (stage performance)	Traditional	Double-meaning folk humour
Khol De Ghaghra	Various artists	Traditional	Explicitly suggestive folk banter
Gaddya Mein Ek Luhari	Masoom Sharma	Sunil Dujaniya	Sensual imagery in rustic metaphor
Tateeree	Badshah	Badshah	Controversial lyrics leading to FIRs and legal action

Many of these songs have accumulated hundreds of millions of views and are widely performed in public spaces.

If cultural reform is truly the objective, critics argue, interventions must address the entire ecosystem rather than a single artist.

Otherwise, the campaign risks appearing selective.

The American feminist thinker bell hooks once noted:

“Patriarchy has no gender. It is a system that shapes the thinking and actions of everyone in society.”

Her observation suggests that cultural policing alone cannot dismantle patriarchal structures unless deeper social inequalities are addressed.

The Tateeree Episode: From Cultural Debate to Legal Spectacle

After criticism emerged, Badshah removed the song from digital platforms and issued an unconditional apology.

However, the controversy escalated rather than subsided.

Multiple FIRs were filed, and the issue was framed as a serious moral threat to society.

Reports indicated that when the artist’s legal counsel appeared before the commission, the chairperson insisted that the rapper himself must appear personally.

Under Indian legal norms, individuals are entitled to representation through counsel before quasi-judicial bodies. Insisting on personal appearance raises questions about procedural fairness.

The result was an episode that appeared less like institutional justice and more like a public spectacle of moral authority.

Political philosopher Martha Nussbaum argues:

“A healthy democracy must allow uncomfortable expressions while confronting injustice through law and reason.”

This principle becomes relevant when cultural controversies escalate into legal action.

Pattern of High-Profile Interventions

The Tateeree controversy is not the first time the commission has entered headline-generating disputes.

Previous notices issued by the commission included:

action against Congress leader Randeep Singh Surjewala over remarks concerning BJP MP Hema Malini

summoning political scientist Ali Khan Mahmudabad over social media commentary

While defending women’s dignity is important, critics argue that such interventions sometimes blur the line between institutional responsibility and political theatre.

Cases That Demand Institutional Attention

While controversies over songs dominate headlines, several disturbing crimes continue to emerge across the state.

One such case involved the brutal murder of a young woman in Bhiwani, now under investigation by the Central Bureau of Investigation.

Haryana also continues to confront:

honour killings

dowry deaths

trafficking of minor girls

sexual violence in rural areas

These are the issues where sustained institutional intervention is most urgently required.

Institutional Challenges Within the Commission

Another issue concerns the internal functioning of the commission itself.

The HSCW is meant to function as a multi-member body, yet reports indicate that two member positions remain vacant. She continues to hold the position even after the expiry of her term, despite the fact that the notification constituting the Haryana Women Commission contains no provision permitting continuation in office beyond the prescribed tenure.

An incomplete commission weakens the institution by:

limiting investigative capacity

reducing diversity of viewpoints

centralizing authority around a single individual

For a body meant to represent women across Haryana, such institutional gaps raise concerns about effectiveness.

Feminist scholar Nivedita Menon writes:

“The question is not simply whether women are protected, but who defines protection and whose power that definition serves.”

This perspective highlights why institutions must constantly examine whether their actions empower women or merely regulate public behaviour.

Ten Hard Questions for the Women Commission

If the Haryana State Commission for Women is to function as a credible institution rather than a platform for episodic outrage, several difficult questions must be addressed.

These questions are not directed merely at personalities but at the institutional functioning of the commission under its chairperson Renu Bhatia.

1. Has the Commission Conducted Any Statewide Study on Crimes Against Women?

Haryana consistently records one of the highest crime rates against women according to the National Crime Records Bureau. Has the commission undertaken a comprehensive study to identify root causes?

2.  What Policy Reforms Has the Commission Recommended?

A key mandate of women’s commissions is to suggest legal and policy reforms. What concrete recommendations has the HSCW submitted to the Haryana government in the past three years?

3. How Many Suo Motu Investigations Have Been Conducted in Serious Crimes?

Beyond issuing notices in public controversies, how many serious cases of rape, murder, or trafficking have been investigated by the commission on its own initiative?

4. What Follow-up Has Been Done in High-Profile Cases?

In several disturbing incidents, including the Bhiwani murder case now investigated by the Central Bureau of Investigation, what sustained role has the commission played in ensuring justice?

5. Why Are Vacancies in the Commission Still Unfilled?

If two member positions remain vacant, has the chairperson formally urged the government to complete the commission’s composition?

6. Has the Commission Audited the Functioning of One-Stop Crisis Centres?

One-Stop Centres are meant to provide legal and psychological support to victims of violence. Has the commission conducted inspections and publicized their findings?

7. What Steps Have Been Taken to Improve Conviction Rates?

Low conviction rates remain a major challenge in crimes against women. Has the commission engaged with prosecutors and police to improve investigation quality?

8. What Has Been Done to Address Honour Killings?

Haryana continues to witness honour killings driven by caste and patriarchal norms. Has the commission initiated any statewide dialogue or research on this issue?

9. Is Cultural Policing the Primary Role of the Commission?

Should a statutory body devote its energy to policing song lyrics, or should it focus on structural gender violence?

10. Can Institutions Maintain Credibility Without Political Neutrality?

If the commission intervenes selectively in controversies involving public figures, how does it maintain the perception of independence and neutrality?

These questions do not diminish the importance of protecting women’s dignity in public discourse. Rather, they seek to ensure that the commission fulfills its larger institutional responsibility toward the women of Haryana.

These questions are essential not for criticism alone but for strengthening the institution itself.

Conclusion: Beyond Headlines

Institutions created to protect women must resist the temptation of headline politics.

Cultural debates will come and go. Songs will be released, criticised, and forgotten.

But the deeper struggle for gender justice—against violence, discrimination, and inequality—requires sustained commitment.

Indian feminist activist Kamla Bhasin often reminded audiences:

“Patriarchy survives not because of culture alone, but because power protects it.”

This observation underlines the central argument of the article: real change requires confronting structures of power rather than symbolic targets.

The real test for the Haryana State Commission for Women is not how loudly it reacts to cultural controversies but how effectively it addresses the everyday realities faced by women across the state.

Because cultures do not change through the prosecution of one song.

And patriarchy does not collapse through the arrest of one artist.

Real change begins when institutions choose substance over spectacle.

Footnote

1. NCRB Crime in India Reports (2022–2023).

2. Haryana Assembly Budget Session Statements (2025–2026).

3. State crime statistics shared by Haryana Police.

4. Media reports from national newspapers including The Tribune, The Hindu, and Times of India.